Sonya Elliott

Back on the Court

AUTHOR & BASKETBALL FANATIC

Family Time on the Court

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Well, both kids passed me quite handily on their shooting charts. It doesn’t hurt that they have had me as a rebounder. (how can I resist a “mom, can you come out and shoot with me, please?”)  It doesn’t even bother me that I end up rebounding. In fact, I enjoy it. I didn’t realize starting the Peace.Love.Basketball Shooting Challenge would bring me even closer to my kids.

I wasn’t sure they would want to do the Challenge. But Cass ran out to the hoop the first day, shooting 40 shots before we walked to school. Charli knew about the PLB Shooting Challenge but she didn’t really say much, other than briefly commenting about having her picture on the small handout I was making about the Shooting Challenge. A comment that was as difficult to read as her opinion on the Challenge itself. I was preparing for, “I don’t really want to do it mom.” And had decided not to push. I’ve seen way to much of that in my years of coaching and I’ve seen what it can do to girls and their love of the game. “Sonya you’ll have to ‘let it go’ if Charli doesn’t feel like doing the Challenge” I told myself. 
Yesterday Charli asked, “Hey, why don’t I have a shooting chart taped on the wall for me?” 
“I didn’t know if you wanted one.” I said, dropping the last dirty fork into the dishwasher.
“Yes, I want a chart.” she said grabbing a ball and heading to the court.
I smiled as I filled the dishwasher with soap and closed the door. 
Never mind that she shot in her bare feet the first day. Never mind that she decided to go with shots taken, not shots made. She’s out there shooting, having fun. And better yet, part of the time, I’ve been out there with her. I’ve been keeping quiet and keeping it fun. Well, maybe I’ve let out an occasional “don’t forget to square your shoulders to the hoop,” how could I not. But I’m staying quiet enough that she’s smiling and now she has passed me by about 300 shots. I’ve got some work to do tomorrow…

4950 shots to go!

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Yes, I did it! 50 shots! I even wanted to shoot more, but I had motherly duties to attend to, school pick ups, snacks, chauffering and the like. While shooting in my driveway/sidewalk/grass court, I did a little thinking. (which I occasionally like to do) Did I write in the PLB Shooting Challenge information that a participant should record makes or simply shots taken for the PLB Shooting Challenge? I pondered as my next shot bricked off the rim and I turned my ankle on the parking area that doubles as my court. Maybe it should be shots taken? In the end I decided recording the shots made is in order for anyone who has been playing for a while, but for young kids, shots taken is good. The Challenge should be good for your game and fun!

And I’m glad to have Jenny joining the fun! Yes, you can use our basket anytime! I will even move “Bob’s” car out of the driveway and join you!
Photo: My court – proving you don’t have to have a perfect place to practice…just get out there and do it!

Peace.Love.Basketball Summer Shooting Challenge

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I now have a reason to blog. Or should I say a motivation to blog. I have a lot of good reasons. I designed a line of basketball t-shirts that are for sale on my website peacelovebasketball.com. The team I’m playing on, AWU (All Washed Up) won the Sheryl Swoopes Tournament and our league. I started writing my next book. I could go on. But I’m motivated to blog again because I’m taking the Peace.Love.Basketball Summer Shooting Challenge.

I was talking with a friend about the 5000 shot club I was a part of the summer before I went to high school and how much it helped my shooting when a light bulb went off. I could start a 5000 shot club on my website. The PLB Summer Shooting Challenge was born and will be a part of my website next week. I hope it will encourage young ball players to get out, have some fun on their own, and shoot the ball. Kids (or adults) can download a free calender and track their shooting this summer. If they register ($10) they will receive a Peace.Love.Basketball Summer Shooting Challenge T-shirt and PLB Sticker in August. 
How could I present a challenge and not take it myself. I will update my blog on my progress. And please let me know how the challenge is going for you, or your kids, if you choose to join me. Get out there and have fun playing ball! I think I’m going to hit the court today and get started. Enjoy the summer!
photos: Peace.Love.Basketball Scoop Neck T-shirt and Sonya Elliott in her “stylish” 5000 shot club T-shirt, 1981

Basketball helped rekindle her life

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Spokesman Review “THEN and NOW” article


BASKETBALL HELPED REKINDLE HER LIFE 
by 
Dave Trimmer 
Sonya Elliott was flying home from a modeling assignment in Hawaii last month, husband and two children waiting for her at home in Seattle. 
Staring into the darkness from her window seat, many thoughts crossed her mind. 
“I remember thinking how thankful I am, from where I cam from,” she said choking up at the thought.
She wasn’t reflecting on her All-Greater Spokane League basketball career at University, her four seasons at Eastern Washington University, highlighted by an appearance in the 1987 NCAA tournament her junior season, or her modeling career.
She only thought back to when her second life started, when she woke up in the hospital after a train hit the car in which she was riding and killed her fiance’ just days before their wedding.
It was October 20, 1991.
“Like anybody that’s going through the loss of somebody they love, when you’re in it you don’t see that it can get better,” she said. “To me, it’s unbelievable where I’m at now.”
Through a love a basketball she learned to live life, and love again.
to read the entire article follow the link below:

Back on the Court – For the Love of the Game

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I can’t begin to explain how good it feels to be back on the court again. It’s like being home. At least when I’m playing…the next day however, is another story. When I rolled over to get out of bed the morning after my first game back, I become reacquainted with every single muscle in my body and thought I might die. But funny thing is at the same time it felt awesome. That kind of soreness takes me back to college, when basketball practice was 3 hours of drills, conditioning and scrimmaging and then weight lifting. And I loved it, most of the time. Yes, after having to sit out a few months with a bad hip it’s good to be back playing, but the problem is, I’m out of shape. So to take care of the matter, I joined two leagues. No better way to get back in shape, or kill myself. Actually, I’m feeling pretty good and not playing half bad…for a 41 year old. All for the love of the game.  It’s funny how making the time to do things you love, can really make you happy. 🙂

Remember the Gifts

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Recently I had the most incredible experience. I was allowed to share my story of recovery with a grief support group at a neighborhood middle school. I felt very privileged. I can’t imagine dealing with death while going through middle school. Those years are such a time of change and growth.

Before meeting with the students I spoke with Ann White at The Healing Center in hopes that I might better understand what part of my experience would best support them in dealing with their grief. Surrounded by the Healing Center’s warmth, I melted into the soft chair next to Ann and found myself holding back tears as I told her about my fiance Mark who was killed in an accident 17 years ago. A lot of years have passed since Mark’s death and I don’t cry about it much anymore, so I felt silly. Ann reached across and touched my arm. “It’s okay to cry. And it will be okay for the kids to see that even after many years have gone by, you have a special place in your heart for Mark.”
 
Thank you. Even an old lady like me felt relieved to hear it out loud. 
Ann related the grief of a loved one to a scar. She said the pain in your heart, just like a scar, can heal and be stronger than before, but it can also be very sore to the touch. 
I felt the pain melt away.
I talked to the middle schoolers about my life. How lucky I feel to be in this world sharing my life with my husband and kids. That I am a writer and I have just finished writing a book. That I am a fashion model and an athlete. That I had played basketball in college, and still play and coach basketball. I shared with them that there was a time in my life when I would not have thought any of it possible.
I explained that my finane Mark and I had been hit by a train. He had been killed and I wished I had been too. I told them about a friend, Solvieg, who during my recovery, said that grief hurt but over time I would feel better. “I’m not sure I believed her at the time,” I told the students, “but I did agree with the fact that I was hurting.” And now I see that Solvieg was right. After my accident, after losing Mark, ever so slowly I began to feel better. 
But along with time, there were several things that helped me in my journey of recovery, and when I talked with the students I explained that everyone’s experience is different but I hoped they could draw something useful from my experience. First of all, I cried a lot. I had great family support and I was allowed to cry and cry and yes…cry. I did not have to go to school or work and act like everything was okay. Finding the time to cry is not always an easy task but for me, it was an important part of grieving. 
I took life one-step-at-a-time. I was able to do that during the worst times thanks to my history as an athlete. How many times had I gone to basketball practice and pushed myself to work hard even when I was injured or simply sick and tire of practicing three hours a day. Though I didn’t realize it at the time, I put my “never give up attitude” from basketball to good use on my journey of recovery.
A month after Mark was killed, I began writing in a journal. Writing may not be for everyone, but it was helpful for me to put my anger and pain on paper. How could this have happened? Why do I have to live without Mark? How can I go on? Every time, the words hit the page they allowed me to move forward in my recovery. To find a way to move ahead with my life. I believe that the journal doesn’t have to be fancy, sometimes it’s better if it’s not, that way you’re not afraid to write in it, dirty it’s beautiful pages.
Last, I found something I was passionate about to focus on…playing basketball. Trying to play basketball again, gave me something to live for. It helped me to move toward a life filled with happiness and love. Find your passion. Find a reason to live.
 
While meeting Ann at the Healing Center, she had asked me a question that penetrated my soul. “What gifts did Mark give you?” I had never thought of it like that before. At home I let the question swim around in my mind. I knew Mark was a part of me now and forever, I had written about him and how he changed my life, but I had never thought of it in that way. “What gifts did Mark give me?” I remembered how when we visited Marks grandparent’s he would chop wood, cut back branches that drooped across their drive, and look for other odd jobs to help around their house. Or what about how he had saved money to get a limosine for each of his three sisters for their 21st birthdays. (Not one, but three sisters.) Mark was thoughtful. that was one gift I have tried to implement into my life. I don’t always succeed but because of him I increase my effort. It has been nice to begin to identify and recognize many of the gifts that Mark has given me.
Just last week, I lost my grandfather “Bampa“. And I found it very comforting to look at the gifts he has given me. From something as simple as tickling my feet when I was a little kid (Oh how I loved that simple loving touch) to the way he lived and share his life.
Looking around the room during the middle school support group meeting, I realized that there were many gifts given to us in our lifetime and those given to us by the ones we have loved and lost have a special meaning.
While in the depth of grief I wouldn’t have seen it, but now I recognize the gifts that Mark and my grandfather have given me. And just as important I remind myself of the gifts that are given to me every day as I live my life. The mom that rescued my kids from piano when I worked late, the “walrus dancing” email sent by my middle school friend Kirsten that brought a chuckle during tax time, the sticky cookies-n-cream ice cream mustache kiss from my son. All of them are gifts. Sometimes when life gets hurried I forget about how precious life is, but then I think about Mark. I think about Bampa. I think about what is really important in life, my family and friends, and I feel very lucky indeed.
…remember the gifts.

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