I’m not big on Valentine’s Day, not that I dislike it, but normally it’s like any other day, I have no overblown expectations of “things” that I should receive, and generally grab a card for my husband and kids to celebrate the day. But this Valentine’s I’m making an effort to appreciate the day, and more than anything, appreciate my connections.

According to Dictionary.com, Valentine’s Day is observed in honor of St Valentine as a day for the exchange of Valentine’s and other tokens of affection. Can those tokens of affection be unseen exchanges of friendship and caring? Do they need to be red & pink candy or chocolate hearts? Can tokens of affection be given to oneself? Is this cheating?

This morning my husband woke up early, and tip-toed through the house so that I could sleep. I heard him gathering things in his office. I snuck up behind him and gave him a kiss. “Have a safe trip. See you tonight.” I said. He was flying out of town for the day. “Happy Valentine’s Day.” He said, and returned the kiss as he rushed out the door to the airport.

A token of affection.

At 10:08 I knocked on Jenny’s front door for our weekly Thursday writing date. The table was set with pink plates, freshly baked cookies, old fashioned candy hearts. “Smile” ,”Hug Me”, “Text Me” (maybe not so old fashioned) inviting me to share the day. I added chocolate covered strawberries to the table. We hugged, opened our journals and began to write.

A token of affection.

When I got home I placed two silly cards for my kids on the kitchen table. (maybe I’ll even get a hug later in return.)

A token of affection.

This afternoon I’ll sneak in some work. No affection there. But then I will head to basketball practice. The energy of the girls this season is so positive that it’s been an ongoing Valentine for me, and today, at practice, I will remind myself of that. Later, there is a “gift” to myself, I play in a basketball game. And then my husband will be hustling home from the airport so that we can spend the rest of the evening together. Maybe he is not the saintly St. Valentine, whose traditions of courtly love has prevailed since the Middle Ages, but the fact that he hopes to make it home in time to share a glass of wine with a 46 year old sweaty hoopster after her game, is token enough for me.

Do we need precious stones or expensive bouquets for Valentine’s Day? Or is recognizing and acknowledging the affection around us, and for us, more than enough?

Enjoy todays tokens of affection from those you love, including yourself.