Sonya Elliott

Back on the Court

AUTHOR & BASKETBALL FANATIC

Monday’s Pen To Paper: Finding Space to Breathe

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Photo Credit: Jeff Zaruba

Wow, 2017 flew by. There were good times (those seen on Instagram) and not-so-good times, but because of the ups and downs, it was fulfilling and interesting, and a year that I wouldn’t change for the world.

However, I am always looking for ways to make life better and I believe what will do that for me in the coming year is to work on slowing life down so that I can better appreciate every moment. Relishing the positive and understanding that when shit happens, I need to breathe and take a moment to myself then move toward happiness.

It’s not easy, especially when the real bad times hit. I’ve fought to save my job, I’ve battled injuries and I’ve lost loved ones and it took a lot of strength and courage to keep moving forward. But every day life can be tough sometimes too. When terrible things happen I know I have to buck up and move on, but at time it’s the little things, the sprained wrist, the sore shoulder, the sick dog, the sick kid, the dead toaster, the flat tire, and the constant battle with laundry and dishes that drags me down. 

Life can be challenging that way, even as a half-full kind of gal. I’m not a jump up and down, happy-go-lucky, big smiles all the time type person. In fact, occasionally my husband will even ask me if I had fun at a party or something we did together, and I’ll be surprised by his question, because I’ve had a great time. I just tend to keep my joy at a whisper. I see the good in life (maybe quieter than some); still there are times when I struggle to stay positive day after day after day. If I’ve had a bad day I try to remind myself that I have no reason to be upset, that I have dealt with worse, and that helps some, but what helps the most is to breathe, to take a moment to think of the things that I am grateful for in my life. And to do that, I need space. I need time alone, time to be still, time to breathe.

My friend Jenny wrote about choosing a word for the New Year instead of making resolutions in her recent blog. I like this idea. Breathe, seems like the best word for me this year to bring calm to my life. Everyone is different, my husband loves being with people, staying busy, and being active, and though I love these things too, what brings me peace and keeps life on the half-full side, is slowing down and finding space. To do that in 2018 I’m working toward weaving more yoga and meditation back into my life (learn more about yoga in 18 Amazing Benefits of Yoga) and because my house is never empty or quiet (my husband works from home and is on the phone) I’m searching for ways to be still, even without the quiet, and what better way to do that than…breathe.

WRITING PROMPT: How will you find space this year? Is there a word that helps bring you focus for the New Year? If so, write about it.

PeaceLoveBasketball Friday: Give It a Rest

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All of my life I have been active and when I’m on the court, I go all out, but I also know how important it is to have my body working. I spent time in a wheel chair when I was 24 years old, I’ve been on crutches a couple of times, and I’ve sprained ankles, torn ligaments and fought tendonitis and when I’m hurt it’s a lot more difficult to do the things I want to do, so I do what I can to stay healthy, which sometimes means giving my body a break.

Recently my daughter went in for her second knee surgery in less than a year. The doctors had to stitch down the meniscus and she was given a three-month timeline for getting back on the court. After her first surgery many questioned her then two-month timeline. “My meniscus tear only took 3 weeks”, “I was walking the next day.” I suggested she work hard on rehab but even more important, listen to her body. It is more important for her knee to be healed for the long run.  

As athletes we must learn to really listen to our bodies. We are taught to push ourselves to the limit, to go beyond what we are capable of, that’s what good athlete’s do, but we also need to understand that our bodies are our temples, our vehicles for living the life we want to live.

Without a healthy body you can’t run the race, play the game, climb the mountain. So if your body needs it, give it a rest.

Would rest have made a difference for my daughter last year? No one knows for sure, she waited two months while doing rehab so that shouldn’t have been the problem, but I do know she will always be attuned to the needs of her body now. This is so important for young athletes in this era of non-stop year-round sports and for everyone as we grow old and live our lives. Our bodies, and minds, need time to rest and recover.

After playing college basketball, which included fall ball, the regular season, post-season and spring ball, I would come home for the summer and take time off. I didn’t touch a basketball for about 6 weeks. I worked, water-skied, swam, went on occasional runs and goofed around with my friends. Then a few weeks before school was going to start I ran more, lifted weights and started to shoot around (I didn’t know of any open gyms back then).

Push yourself, push your body, but also listen to your body and allow it the time it needs to recover. Stay healthy and if needed, make sure to give your body a rest.

 

Monday’s Pen to Paper: Quiet

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When I was six months pregnant with my son, I drove 2000 miles to southern California and back in my 1989 Volkswagon Vanagon with my two year-old daughter and my boxer dog in tow. I did this all with no stereo, no phone, and no electronics and I loved every minute of it.

Recently I read the book Quiet by Susan Cain. The book hit home for me. Quiet, The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking, reminded me that I’m just fine the way I am. Introverted. Of course I know that I’m okay, but in a world full of extroverts, a world that praises extroverted qualities and living with two extroverts (now that my daughter and fellow introvert is away at college), life can be trying and often I feel awkward and guilty about wanting to be lone.

To those who meet me on the street I may not seem like an introvert. But I am. Being introverted does not necessarily mean you live in a hovel warded off from the world, it means that you recharge by being alone. When I was young I never really thought about being extroverted or introverted, I was shy but enjoyed my friends and my teammates. I was active and social but over a majority of my life I lived alone or occasionally with one roommate who was in and out of the apartment, so I always had time to myself. It was not until I got married, got dogs, had kids and then had my husband start working out of the home that my need for alone time increased and the anxious feeling in my gut started following me around.

I first discovered I was an introvert when my son was in preschool. The preschool instructor gave us information to help determine if our child was introverted or extroverted so that we could better understand their needs. I don’t remember what I thought my son was at the time, but I looked at the list about introverts and thought, that is me. The number one thing that spoke to me was that I recharge by being alone. I enjoy being with people but after being around them a lot, I need a break.

To extroverts (like my husband) this makes no sense because for them it is the opposite, they get energised by people. Of course it’s not always one or the other, people lie on a spectrum between the two, introvert and extrovert, but knowing your tendencies can be beneficial.

My best friend Leslie, who I met in middle school and knows me better than I know myself, is the one who suggested that I read Quiet, she said, “It’s kind of preaching to the chair, but you’ll like it.” She was right. It was a reminder to me that I crave alone time and to be happy in a busy extroverted world, I need to find time for myself.

I’ve struggled to do this over the last few years, with a busy family schedule and a house that is never empty, so I’m always searching for ways to be alone. But most of the time means doing something as simple as taking a walk, driving my car with the radio off, or sitting alone at a track meet or basketball game. For me creating some quiet helps me to be happy. And being happy gives me the energy to write and do the things I love.

What do you need to do in order to write, to live your life in the way that you want to live it, to be happy?

WRITING PROMPT: Chose one of the following words and write about it…               Quiet. Introvert. Extrovert.

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