Sonya Elliott

Back on the Court

AUTHOR & BASKETBALL FANATIC

PEACELOVEBASKETBALL: Can I Play? Dreaming In The Wave Of Title IX

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The recent loss of Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg has left me heartbroken. I didn’t have a personal connection to her, but what I know of her, I love, and I am grateful for how she fought for women’s rights and equal rights.

It is because of Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg (and many other strong women before my time), that I have the right to vote, that I have access to birth control, that I was able to get a credit card before I was married and that, if I want, I can buy a house without my husband’s signature, to name a few.

And of course there’s Title IX (which bans sex discrimination and sexual harassment in federally subsidized educational programs, including athletics). This 1972 Education Amendment is what opened up doors for me to play the sport I love at the next level and get a better education, and for that I am grateful. Had I been in school a few years earlier, before Title IX, things may have been different.

Can I Play? Dreaming In The Wave Of Title IX is an article I published several years ago about how lucky I was to grow up after Title IX was enacted, and how it allowed me to pursue my dream of playing college basketball.

Can I Play? Dreaming In The Wave of Title IX by Sonya Elliott

“Mom, I want to play basketball,” I said as I watched the boys move up and down the court, dribbling around each other in an effort to get to the hoop. I was seven at the time.

My mom peered at me through the bottom of her glasses and explained, “They don’t have basketball for girls your age, Sonya.” But when I narrowed my eyes and huffed, she gave me an exaggerated wink and said, “That doesn’t mean you can’t play.”

Not long after, my dad took an old railroad tie from our landscaping, hoisted it vertically and cemented it into the ground, before attaching a wooden backboard and hoop so my brother and I could toss a basketball around with the kids in the neighborhood. Our two-handed toss was the beginning of my love affair with the game. Now at the age of forty-nine, I still play basketball and have spent more than twenty years coaching the game. I’ve seen many changes take place in the sport over my lifetime. Changes, that thanks to Title IX, opened doors for me, and other young women, to follow their dreams.

I was raised to believe that women are as capable as men, so it wasn’t until I started school that I understood the inequalities girls faced, and it wasn’t until I was an adult that I could fully comprehend how lucky I was to be raised during the years of Title IX. Since Congress enacted Title IX in 1972, opportunities in sports for girls have skyrocketed. According to the Women’s Sports Foundation, in 1972 (when I was six), just one in twenty-seven girls participated in high school sports; today, about two in five participate and the number of women playing at the college level has increased by more than 600 percent. Because of Title IX, which bans sex discrimination and sexual harassment in federally subsidized educational programs, including athletics, there are more athletic scholarships for women and opportunities to participate in sports and to learn from the game than ever before.

Back when I was in elementary school in Montana, I was taught 6-on-6 basketball, a game where each team has three offensive players and three defensive players on each half of the court. I didn’t know that 6-on-6 had been put into women’s play back in 1899, by the Women’s Basketball Rule Committee, because the committee believed the game of basketball was too rough for girls, I thought 6-on-6 was the way everyone played the game. And it wasn’t until I went to a men’s game at the University of Montana that I saw 5-on-5 basketball, real basketball. It looked like so much fun to run the full court and play both offense and defense and I was shocked to learn that girls weren’t allowed to play this way, even at the college level in some states. I wanted to play real basketball, and fortunately by the time I went to middle school, I got the chance. Although it wouldn’t be until years later (Oklahoma was the last state to change in 1995), that girls across America would all get to play real basketball. Playing full court 5-on-5 was so much more fun than waiting on one end of the court for the action to return. My middle school coaches made our girls team work hard, they didn’t believe in the pre-Title IX perception that girls were weak, so our team was strong. We lost just one game in three years.

In high school I held my own as a small, small forward, weighing in at a whopping one hundred twelve pounds and five foot seven inches tall. I played aggressive defense, guarding players twice my size, bumping them out of position as they cut, fighting them down low when they tried to post me up and blocking them off of the boards. It was my toughness, that thing that girls were not supposed to have, that me made me a good player. And because I love the game so much I put in extra hours shooting and working on ball handling and started to become one of the top basketball players in Spokane, Washington. I wanted to play at the next level, and although I was probably quite naïve at the time, I was certain I could get a scholarship. I attended summer camps and played on an AAU team that was put together by a coach in the area. I honed my skills, and by the end of my junior year, I was the second leading scorer in the Greater Spokane League, averaging over 17 points a game.

As spring hit, our AAU team, the Spokane All-Stars, gathered the top basketball players from Washington and Idaho and became a powerhouse. And after we played in the National AAU Tournament, I started to receive letters of interest from college basketball programs across the United States. I was getting letters from Washington to Southwest Louisiana, and was flatter that they and others like Oregon, Stanford and Columbia were considering me for their teams. All of the athletically talented girls who I’d known who had graduated prior to my senior year, either didn’t play sports in college or if they did, their college coach found them campus work to help pay for school, they didn’t receive athletic scholarships. It wasn’t until my senior year that I watched several of my AAU teammates get recruited and get their college education paid for.

I personally had my heart set on playing for the University of Montana. It was my grandpa’s alma mater, and although I moved to Washington as a girl, I had grown up watching Griz basketball. After my junior year I traveled to the U of M’s camp and had been voted Co-MVP. We kept in contact and I turned down other college visits knowing I was going to be a Grizzly. But a scholarship offer never came, and when I called the coach, I was stunned to hear that they’d used them all. There was no money left for me.

I was devastated. Looking back I wish I’d done things differently, explored my options more thoroughly and given myself the best opportunity to get a scholarship, but I would never want to change how things turned out. I scrambled, followed up with schools that had contacted me over my senior year and ended up playing on scholarship at Eastern Washington University. I got lucky.

There is nothing like stepping on a college court to play the game you love. And even though it made me mad that at times the women’s teams played in an old gym with dirty floors and missing light bulbs while the men played in a new college sports complex, my anger at such obvious inequality was damped by my thankfulness to just be on the court. To this day, things are not perfect. When I took over as the head coach of a girl’s high school basketball program in Seattle in 2010, I started with four dollars, four uniforms and a locker room that had been used as a dumping ground, but despite these inequities that still occur, we have come a long way from my six-on-six playing days. There are more girls’ teams, there are more athletic scholarships, and there are opportunities for women to play basketball overseas and in the WNBA after college.

When I watch a girl’s game from the bleachers now, I am often brought to tears. Not because I miss being on the court as a player or as a coach, but because, thanks to Title IX and the changes that have happened in women’s sports since I was first tossing a ball at a battered hoop in my driveway, this game that I love will have more impact than ever before on the lives of young women and they will no longer have to hear, “They don’t have basketball for girls.”

Instead they will hear, “Yes! Yes you can play.”

 

PEN TO PAPER: Writing To Save My Life

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Several years ago I wrote an article about how writing literally saved my life after my fiancé was killed and I felt as if life wasn’t worth living. I never published the piece, but I hand it out when I speak to grief support groups, hoping that my experience with recovery will inspire others who are struggling. And now, I hope that by sharing it here, it will find it’s way to those in need…

 

“Writing to Save My Life”

Sonya G. Elliott

I wouldn’t have thought it could happen. Getting hit by a train and losing my fiancé just days before our wedding for one, but actually recovering from such a thing seems altogether unbelievable, even a miracle. And, of course, the fact that I survived was a miracle to my family and friends, but for me it was a death sentence that left me alone and struggling to go on with life. Had it not been for my journal, my writing, I may never have found my way.

I had played basketball for the Eastern Washington University Screamin’ Eagles from 1984 to 1988, then after graduating I moved to Seattle where I began working as a fashion model. Not the typical career choice for an athlete and honor student, but I had been a walking contradiction since I was a child, when I sat alone in the tall grass picking clovers and then quietly pushed myself to a stand and began walking for the first time. In high school I was the jock that sang solos in choir and did my homework. (I thought of myself as a well-rounded person, my classmates called me a nerd.) When I met Mark, I was still living a life of contradiction. I’d spend afternoons sashaying down the runway with my long blond hair piled high upon my head, then I’d rush home to scour the dark lining from my eyes and the red from my lips, and hurry to the nearest open gym to play basketball.

When I first saw Mark, I was running my fingers impatiently over my soft leather basketball waiting to play in the next game at Shoreline community center.My stomach fluttered as I watched him move swiftly around his defender with a hesitation dribble, and take the ball to the hoop. Laying the ball gently against the backboard, he made a quick pivot as the ball dropped through the net and then sprinted down on defense. A smile flickered on his lips. I held the ball tight in my hands. My mind was no longer on basketball.

I hadn’t really noticed a man since my boyfriend and I broke up three months earlier. But Mark, with his strong build, thick dark hair and smiling emerald eyes, had an unguarded confidence that demanded my full attention. As he glided effortlessly up and down the court, he hypnotized me with his command of the game. When I stepped onto the court to play against him, Mark was wearing a white cotton t-shirt with a blue Nike across the chest, and on his face he was wearing a broad smile.

“I’ve got her,” he said, bringing his lips together and looking me in the eye.

Playing basketball against a man tells me more about him than any date. I got to know the real Mark that afternoon. He didn’t give me a break. He took me to the hoop, crashed the boards, and stole my passes. He used his body to move me out of the way and get loose balls, and then he’d flash me a smile. Mark captured my heart with his intensity and teamwork each time down the court and my admiration was deepened by the chance to be near him. His unmistakable masculine scent was enhanced by the warmth of his body and became permanently ingrained in my mind as we moved on the court together.  I craved it like chocolate. I wished the game would never end.

When it did, Mark asked me to dinner and a Sonics game. Three months later we were engaged to be married. Basketball had been my life; now there was something better to live for, Mark. Inseparable, Mark and I mapped out our future. Our wedding, our home, our family and our life together. On our way home from our last wedding shower, eight months after our first date, the car that Mark and I were driving was hit by a train.

***

GAUBINGER IN INTENSIVE CARE

Gaubinger, Former University High School and Eastern Washington basketball player, remains in intensive care at Deaconess Medical Center with injuries sustained Sunday in a car-train accident near Ritzville.

Gaubinger, 25, was a passenger in a car driven by her fiancé, Mark Overholt, that was struck by a Burlington Northern train at a crossing on Snyder Road.  She was thrown through the rear window and suffered multiple fractures and a punctured lung.  She underwent six hours of surgery on Sunday.

Overholt, 25, died from internal injures at the site of the crash.

The article from the Spokesman Review detailed the obvious; what it couldn’t tell was the real story. By the time my parents rolled me out of the hospital in a wheelchair two weeks later, my broken body and mind had withered away. I couldn’t walk, let alone play basketball or strut down a runway. All I could do was cry and think of Mark. Mark and the future we had lost. The home, the children, the life we had foreseen was gone. I was a 25-year-old unofficial widow, drowning in sorrow. I had no reason to live.

But I lived. As much as I hated it, as each day passed, I lived. However, I lived with my parents, not my husband. I slept in a hospital bed in my parents’ living room. They cared for me, fed me, and bathed me. They wheeled me from room to room. The home’s circular path – dining room, kitchen, living room, bathroom, where I once chased my brother and dogs – now became my path of grief. While traveling this path of grief, my tears wore their own salty paths. Without my wanting or knowing, with the drop of each tear, my journey of recovery began.

I spent most days in Dad’s La-Z-Boy watching vivid memories of Mark play over and over in my mind. My mom was unsure of what to say or do to help make things better for me.  When she asked if she could help, “No” was my reply. Then a day came when she didn’t ask. Instead she pulled out a small book, with blue and white floral fabric for the cover, and rested it gently in my lap. It was a journal.

“I hope you’ll try writing in it,” she said cautiously. “Remember, the counselor thought it might be a good idea.”

I looked at the journal. Skeptical. Unsure if I could write at all, but more so, unsure if I dared follow the feelings deep in my heart. I set the journal aside.

“Thanks Mom,” I said, with no intent of ever dirtying the journal’s soft white pages.I was still hoping this was all a nightmare, that I might awake one day and have my life with Mark again.

More than a month after the accident, after Mark had died, and after getting rid of the contraption in the dining room that doubled as my bed, I moved to my old high school bedroom. The first night that my dad wheeled me in to go to bed, I noticed the floral journal across the room and asked dad to wheel me to the desk and get me a pen. Dad returned with a blue Bic and gave me a goodnight kiss. The scent of pine followed him out the door and when the door was closed, I reached for the pen. Gripping the pen awkwardly with my weakened hand, I was barely able to hold the journal in place while dragging the pen across the page with my broken limb. But once I began to write, all the pain I’d held inside flooded the pages. I wrote the obvious. I wrote the unthinkable. And as tears streamed down my face, I wrote to save my life.

The truth was out. It was in writing. Mark was dead and my life was over. How could I live without him? That was a question that couldn’t be answered, couldn’t be faced; instead it was the writing and the motion of life itself that kept me moving moment by moment, day by day, in the direction of change. Swimming through a pool of vivid memories that flooded my mind, I lived in the past, as my life moved forward. But I wasn’t ready to let go of the memories, to let go of Mark. I couldn’t say goodbye. Instead, as day turned to night and I was wheeled to my childhood desk, I grabbed my pen and left my heart on the page. I wrote of the pain in my heart and I wrote to Mark to keep him a part of my life.

Days became weeks. My wheelchair, left in the corner for long excursions, was replaced by a quad-cane. I walked to my desk under my own power. I continued to write. The pain in my heart wouldn’t stop, nor would my crying. I wrote about my pain. Then I wrote about Mark. I started a list that had everything about Mark that I could remember. The list grew quickly, but it seemed stale and empty. My words couldn’t emulate the vibrancy that was so much a part of each story found on the list. But once I realized this list was the only way each beautiful moment with Mark could be remembered and forever replayed in my mind, I made myself continue to write.

In time I exchanged the quad cane for a cane. I moved more quickly and with less pain. My scars faded. And with that shift came a new reality that I struggled with daily. How would I live without Mark? No longer did I write, I cannot live without Mark, but instead asked, how will I live without Mark? A subtle shift, gone unseen by me at the time, but a shift all the same, that kept me moving forward. As I wrote of the pain, and allowed that part of me to escape, new words hit the pages that began to fill the emptiness in my heart with hope.

I said goodbye to my cane and my parents. I found a job as an apartment manager which allowed me to live alone. I modeled for clients who were willing to work around my scars. Life had possibilities. Not of happiness, of course, that was out of the question, but of living. And part of living now was writing. When I wrote, the pages were still left wet with tears. Each time I set down my journal, the writing had pushed me forward and pushed me to live.

I began dribbling a basketball. My arm hung by my side like a stroke victim’s but I dribbled the ball. It was like being seven again. An awkward seven learning a new skill, and with that “new skill” came feeling of accomplishment. I wrote in my journal, I will play basketball again. Life continued to move forward.

I filled a second journal quickly. People were surprised by how well I was coping but my journal held the truth, the pain and the loneliness. All the things I didn’t dare let go in public for fear the tears would never stop. I was walking the road of grief and it was hard.

Eight months after the accident, a friend of Mark’s invited me to watch his high school baseball team play.  “You’ve gotta see this one kid. He looks just like Mark,” he said. I went to the game. I wasn’t sure how well I could handle seeing someone that looked like Mark, but I took a chance. And when I saw the right fielder flash Mark’s smile, it was like seeing just a small piece of Mark, and it was worth it.

Near the end of the game, an opposing batter swung at a pitch and sent a foul tip flying up behind the catcher.  The catcher whipped his mask off and spun around in search of the ball.  I stared in surprise. The catcher looked just like Jason. I had met Jason in college. We were both athletes and ran into one another frequently in the corridors of the athletic pavilion. We had been close friends in college but I hadn’t seen him in years.

I thought of Jason. And because of it, I suffered. Thinking of another man weighed on my soul. And then there came a moment when I did the unthinkable, a moment when there was a lull in my guilt, and I called Jason. Talking to him was like talking to my best friend.  Weeks passed, we spoke on the phone often, until I agreed to meet for lunch. I kept Jason a secret, afraid of what family and friends might think. But slowly, without pressure or promise, our relationship grew. And as I worked through my grief and guilt, and filled more pages of my journal with writing and tears, we became a couple.

Something I believed could never happen, did happen. I had met a man who was so warm and caring that I began to hope I might find love again. And as I made journal entries, happy times that I shared with Jason appeared on the pages mixed with painful memories of Mark. When I struggled with the guilt, guilt that I had survived, guilt that I was beginning to enjoy my life again, and guilt for having feelings for another man, I turned to writing even more. And as I soaked more pages of my journal with tears, my heavy heart lifted until I began dreaming of a future, a future with Jason.

The night Jason and I entered the cemetery, hand in hand, moonlight broke through the darkness just enough so that we could read the flat tombstones that led like a garden path to Mark’s grave. We walked in silence, and then came to a stop at the spot where Mark lay deep in the ground. Tears filled my lower lids. My grip on Jason’s hand tightened. Then I knelt to the ground and placed roses in Mark’s vase. Jason knelt down next to me, and we stayed that way for a long time before we moved on to our backs. Lying side by side on Mark’s grave, our hands intertwined, we gazed into the star-filled sky.

“What was Mark like?” Jason asked. I took a long deep breath and then let it escape, unsure of how I should answer. Then I gave a lengthy answer no new boyfriend or lover would want to hear.  An uncensored description of the man I had loved so dearly and, after this night, a man to whom I would finally have to say good-bye. Jason asked about Mark until the night grew cold and the closeness of our bodies could no longer keep us warm. The stories spilled out, one by one, finally giving way to my pent-up sorrow.  Jason pulled me in against his chest and held me while I cried. Though my relationship with Jason may have come too soon and at a time that was difficult for us both, I had found another man who loved me, and now I needed to slowly let go of the past and find a way to return that love.

It was my writing that allowed me to do that. I had waded through layers of sadness and guilt each time I wrote, forging a road to happiness and to a new life with Jason. On November 8th, 1993, I wrote in my journal, and with my writing, I spoke to Mark.

 It wasn’t until just now, when I wrote the date, that I realized that two years ago Mark and I were to be married.  It came as a shock to look at the date and think back to a time that seems so far away, yet in a breath feels like yesterday.  Tears come to my eyes as I think of Mark and all I’ve been through.

      I see more than ever that my life has changed.  It will never be the same, but once again I’m sharing my life and my love with someone very special. I love Jason, and I don’t want to lose what we have together. On this day, a day that was supposed to be so special 2 years ago, it is good to know in my heart that I want to be married to Jason and I am not afraid. I love you, Jason! Life is so worth living, especially when you have someone to share it with.

     Mark, I will always love you, you hold a special place in my heart. Thanks for all your strength.

It was on that day, over twenty-five years ago, that I realized the strength of the written word. The words that filled my journals guided me toward living, to a point in my life where I was strong enough to move forward, to marry Jason, to have children, and to live a life filled with love and hope. I have never forgotten Mark, but I have learned to let go, to remember the energy with which Mark lived his life, and to use it as an example for how to live mine. I am forever grateful for the short time I had with Mark, the life I now have with Jason and my family, and the written word that helped me find my way.

The End

 

Grieving is hard.

Journaling was an important piece of my recovery, but there are many things that can help you find your way through the hard times. If you are struggling, take care of yourself and allow yourself time to cry, but also get out of the house from time to time and do things that you enjoy, or used to enjoy, because just trying them can make a difference. Write down your thoughts, take time to breathe, ask for help, and again, don’t forget to cry when you need to and even when you don’t. Be good to yourself, as with many things in life, grieving is a journey, so keep moving forward one step at a time, and you will find your way.

Has writing helped you during your lifetime? What other things have helped when you’re struggling?

 

 

PEACELOVEBASKETBALL: The Trust Factor

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My daughter and I helped at Ballard High School’s basketball camp this summer. We talked to the campers about what it means to be a good teammate. When I posed the question to the girls, they came up with lots of great ideas: encourage your teammates, cheer for your teammates, high-five your teammates. I agreed, all great ideas. Together we came up with a bunch more, and in the end I emphasized one I feel is extra important, thanking your teammates.

When I was coaching at West Seattle I encouraged our players to say thank you out loud or simply by pointing across the court to their teammate and making eye contact with them. Whatever it took to thank their teammate for a good pass, an important block out, for their help on defense, or for anything deserving of a thank you. Showing gratitude for teammates on the court helps build a strong team, as it’s a step toward developing respect and trust between players.

TRUST

Building trust is not easy. We are all so different and come from different backgrounds. I used to tell my players that they didn’t have to be best friends, but I hoped that they would learn to respect and trust one another, and I believe that over time it was the trust factor, that made a difference in the way the girls played. My last season as head coach, we were undefeated in league, and then, without our point guard (who went down with an ACL injury in our last league game), made it through metro, district and regional playoffs and placed 5thin State. Hard work, and belief in one another and the concept of team, gave us the opportunity, and it started by learning to trust one another.

We spent a lot of time getting to know one another, on and off the court, by doing simple team-building activities like Two Truths and A Lie. In this activity teammates sit in a circle and take a couple of minutes so that each player can think of two truths about themselves, and one lie. (If you have time you can have the entire team do the activity in one big group, or you can break the team up into a few smaller groups and spread them around the gym.) Players that have played together for a while may need to dig a little deeper to think of things that their teammates don’t already know about them, but honesty it doesn’t really matter what the players come up with, because this activity is really about starting a conversation.

When helping at the girl’s camp recently, my daughter and I organized Two Truths and A Lie, and the hardest part of the activity was stopping it, because the kids find so much to talk about. Each player takes a turn, and on their turn they share three “facts” about themselves, and their teammates try to guess which is the lie. In the end, the group learns a couple of new facts about their teammate, and during the asking, and questioning, and banter that takes place while searching for the truths, they often learn much more. And as they unearth facts about their teammates, they understand more fully that their teammates are human, that in many ways they are alike, and also different, and that’s okay. Often players that have been together for a while, will find that their teammates are both strong and vulnerable, and with this knowledge comes understanding and caring and even, on occasion, needed forgiveness.

As the West Seattle team got to know one another, they learned to trust in one another. If they got beat on defense they knew one of their teammates would be there to help, if they sprinted long on a fast break they knew their teammate would pass them the ball, if they had a bad day a school they knew that they had someone to talk to, someone who cared. Some of the players became close friends, but more important as far as the team was concerned, they learned to trust and care about one another.

It’s amazing how over time, even the most basic team-building activity can help players bond, encouraging them to open up and share with one another. It can teach them to empathize with their teammates (at a time when young athletes often think only of themselves), and in that process, they often see themselves more clearly. I have found that this mindset is not only important on the basketball court, but in life. There are people who I might not ever be the best of friends with, who are amazing human beings and have qualities that I truly respect. Having this knowledge can strengthen relationships and help a person to see the world from a slightly different angle.

How can you build trust in your relationships? How well do you know your teammates or the people around you? How can you learn more about them? Is there more that you can learn about yourself? 

 

PEACELOVEBASKETBALL: Summer Shooting Challenge

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It’s almost summer, and no longer basketball season. Or is it?

Kids are playing basketball year round these days, which is both good and bad. Good, because they’re getting more time on the court, but bad because too much time can lead to burnout and injury.  I’ve written about this in my blog, Variety is the Spice of Life: Say NO to playing select sports year-round. I believe a player can still improve without playing a million games during the off-season by finding time to simply shoot and work on skills.

When I was a Sophomore in high school I averaged 3 points per game. The next year I was one of the leading scores in the Greater Spokane League. What changed? I worked on my shot. I spent some time playing with a team, but I spent a lot of hours just getting shots up on my own.

Download a free PLB Shooting Challenge Goal Sheet & Shot Chart form for inspiration and watch your shot improve this summer. (Coaches and parents suggest it to your players & kids.) 

Dream big! Just grab a basketball, find a hoop and get after it.

Life Inspired Fitness: Do What You Love

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I’ve always tried to do the things that I love to stay healthy and happy. Sometimes I put me second to everything and everyone else in my life, and that’s okay for a while, but as my good friend and writer Jenny says, “no one can pour from an empty cup.” So that’s what this blog is about, staying healthy by finding what it is that makes you happy, and doing it.

Other than my time at the computer writing, I am usually on the go. I walk my dog, go up and down stairs in my house all day long, work in the yard, and stay busy managing and fixing real estate properties. But what keeps me fit, is taking the time to do the things I love. I play tennis and run on occasion, but what gets me moving, is knowing that I need to stay in shape to keep playing basketball. 

Basketball is dear to my heart. I have always loved to play, not to mention the game literally helped save my life after I was in an accident years ago. When I was 24 years old (more than half my lifetime ago), I lost my fiancé and nearly lost my own life, and basketball gave me a reason to live. Or maybe better said, it gave me a goal to achieve, which when I was in the depth of grief, was one in the same.

With a shattered right arm (my shooting arm) and a broken right femur, as well as other injuries, my return to basketball seamed unlikely to most, but I set a goal to play again. While going through rehabilitation to get my body strong, the focus and exercise helped me work through my grief as well. And by the time I was able to get back on the basketball court, I realized that life was still worth living.

Since then, I have tried to do just that…live life. Oh, I’m not perfect. Sometimes, even often, I whine and get real lazy, but it’s during these times that I remind myself that if I find, and do, activities that I enjoy, I will feel better physically and mentally. And if I do them, and other activities, regularly, they will keep me healthy and happy and on the basketball court. 

What do you love to do? What helps you to stay active, healthy and happy?

Follow me on Instagram for ideas on how your life can inspire your fitness @lifeinspiredfitness.

PEACELOVEBASKETBALL: From Facial Hair To Underwear: Routines, Rituals & Superstitions

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I wore the same pair of underwear for all but one basketball game over my three years of middle school, and you guessed it, that one game when I didn’t wear them, we lost. And though this is way too much information already, I will clarify that yes, I did wash them between every game. This is only one indication of how crazy athletes can get when it comes to their superstitions.

If you asked me now if I really believed that it mattered what underwear I wore to the middle school games, I would say no, and even back then, if pushed, I would have said no. Yet, once it all started and the winning streak was happening I just figured it didn’t hurt. Fortunately, I didn’t continue that superstition into high school and college but I did have little rituals that guided me into game time as do most athletes.

How many times have you seen hockey, baseball or football players let their facial hair grow as they head into the playoffs trying to get that extra edge for the win, even if it means believing in supernatural intervention. Most athletes understand that superstitious actions don’t really affect the outcome of a game (Just like I didn’t really believe I needed to wear my lucky underwear), but once they put a certain ritual into play and the outcome is good, they often choose to continue with the ritual. Dr. Michaéla Schippers a co-author of “The Psychological Benefits of Superstitious Rituals in Top Sport: A Study Among Top Sportspersons* states that athletes often know that superstitious rituals are not rational, but since on a top-level the differences are so small, they think they can’t afford to take the risk to abandon the superstition.

According to Men’s Journal, NBA Basketball star Micheal Jordon, six-time champion/Finals MVP and five-time regular season MVP (one of my favorite players to watch when I was young because there were no professional women’s basketball players), never forgot his basketball roots. It’s said he wore his lucky University of North Carolina shorts (where he won the 1982 NCAA Championship) underneath his Chicago Bulls uniform in every NBA game. According to ESPN’s 13 Sports Superstitions, Serena Williams, one of the best tennis players in the world, always brings her shower sandals to the court, ties her shoes in a specific way and refuses to exchange her sweaty socks for clean ones during a tournament. And when Jason Giambi, who was a Major League first baseman and designated hitter from 1995 to 2015, found himself in a slump he donned a metallic gold G-string (I’m not the only one who put their hope in their underwear). This worked so well that some of his teammates admitted to giving it a try.

I know one college athlete who is superstitious about not relying on rituals before competitions. Almost a reverse psychology superstition I suppose. Still, when it’s time to compete he has to get his body and mind ready, as do all athletes, by warming up, and this is usually done with a routine. As a basketball player you normally do a pregame warm up with your team. Often teams start with some laying lines and at some point have 3 on 2-2 on 1, but whatever drills they chose, they usually have the same schedule each game. There are other routines throughout competitions, for example a good basketball player has a preshot routine before each freethrow shot they take. When I step to the freethrow line, I find the nail in the floor that marks the midpoint and set my feet from it’s location, spin the ball in both hands and then bounce it once, take a breath and shoot.

The actions of opponents, teammates, and fans not to mention location, lighting and weather (if you’re in an outdoor sport) are always changing, so whether you’re a basketball player or a ski racer, routines can help establish a sense of calm and familiarity in an environment that can be unpredictable and changing. In a study by Lobmeyer and Wasserman (1986), subjects were given training in the use of preshot routines and experienced a 7% increase in success when using the routines in practice. A follow-up study found that under competitive stress, this difference was greater and the shooting accuracy was 23% higher with a preshot routine.

Routines can have a big impact on an athlete’s success and so can rituals. But what is the difference between the two? When do an athlete’s routines become rituals? The main difference between a routine and a ritual lies in the attitude behind them; a routine is a series of automatic actions where a ritual refers to a series of meaningful actions.When a person gives meaning to their routines they can become rituals and rituals demand careful focus and presence of mind, which is even more beneficial to an athletes success. Dr. Schippers says that rituals also can have a tension-regulating function. This is always helpful when completion get tough.

Let’s look at free throw shooting again. According to Dr. Paul van Lange, a professor of psychology at VU University Amsterdam and co-author with Dr. Michaéla Schippers*, rituals work because the person believes in them and expects them to work. I believe it is a combination. When you do the same thing, over and over (in the right way), as in with your freethrow preshot routine, your body begins to learn how that shot feels and should be. When you establish a ritual that is comfortable to you, you build an even stronger connection to your body and mind.

So what is all of this telling you? Implement routines as an athlete. If you’re a basketball player develop a preshot routine for your freethrow (or if you’re a coach, have your players do it.) and if not right away, over time it will make a difference. Find focus and meaning in routines to establish rituals into your workouts and competitions that work for you. Should you go the extra step by adding a belief in the supernatural? That’s up to you, but routines and ritual are worth the effort. Develop ones that you believe in, and they can help you to find success. And if they involve your underwear or a metallic gold G-string you’ll have a crazy story to tell someday.

Tell me about some of your superstitions, or a routine or ritual, that has helped you find success.

*Associate professor of leadership and management at Erasmus University’s Rotterdam School of Management and Journal of Applied Social Psychology in 2006. *The Psychological Benefits of Superstitious Rituals in Top Sport: A Study Among Top Sports persons

PEACELOVEBASKETBALL & PEN TO PAPER: Writing Wisdom

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When I was coaching I gave journals to all of my players and to the kids who came to our summer camps. I found that writing was a good way for them to set personal goals, learn about team concepts and discover things about themselves and each other.

Some players cherished their journals and even brought them home and used them on their own throughout the season. Others simply left them in their lockers for the times when we had organized writing exercises and goal settings. But I loved that every time we wrote in the journals, noses went straight to the page and pens where scratching away. The girls had things to say, thoughts to be written. I believe that all the players and campers benefitted from the experience in one way or another as it gave them the opportunity to delve into their thoughts on the importance of teamwork, attitude and work ethic, and also gave them a space for personal introspection and self-evaluation.

For the high school teams, I had the players write down basketball goals as well as some life goals, and then I tried to give a variety of thought provoking writing prompts. I used questions like: What does team mean to you? Give three things that you can do to help our team be successful this year. Name three goals you have for this season. What steps will you take to achieve these goals? What are three goals (non-basketball related) that you would like to accomplish this year in school? What would you like to be doing in five years? There are so many options to get your team thinking.

Journaling for campers (4th– 8thgraders) was similar, I just added questions that were a little easier to answer and to discuss if the girls wanted to. I used some questions similar to the ones above and added questions like: If you could travel anywhere, where would you go? If you could be an animal, what would you be and why? What is something that you learned at camp today? What makes you happy? Write about someone who is special to you. Share a time when you helped someone. How did it make you feel?

Whether you’re a coach or a player (or anyone really), try using a journal, take time to look inside and reflect on your life and see what happens.

WRITING PROMPT: Choose one of the prompts above and get writing!

 

PeaceLoveBasketball Believe Journal $19.17

PEACELOVEBASKETBALL: Knowledge is Power – Share It

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I’ve read a lot of books about coaching basketball and over the years I have attended many coaches clinics and I love learning about the game and getting different perspectives. As coaches we have certain preferences, but it only helps to check out different options and opinions, and then pick and choose the bits and pieces that fit our needs. Whether we are talking about the X’s and O’s or overall team concepts, knowledge is power.

I am currently building a Coaches Toolkit page on my website with basic information for basketball coaches, such as free downloads of court diagrams, practice plan forms, and beginner basketball basics. The page will also include some of my favorite books such as The Complete Guide to Coaching Girls’ Basketball: Building a Great Team the Carolina Way by Sylvia Hatchell, Reach for the Summit: The Definite Dozen System for Succeeding at Whatever You Do by Pat Summitt and  They Call Me Coach by John Wooden to name a few. I will also be adding links to blogs and websites, and I’m looking for recommendations.So if you have basketball books, blogs or websites that you like, please comment below and I’ll take a look.

Thanks so much!

PEACELOVEBASKETBALL: Always Be Prepared

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As a coach it’s important to be prepared. To be prepared for upcoming games, for your upcoming season and especially for your practices. Yet at the same time, you need to be flexible. When I was coaching I would spend a lot of time planning for the approaching season, what skills and concepts we should work on in practice and when. And though the plans often changed as the season progressed, had I not started each season with a plan, our teams would have struggled.

As an assistant coach I remember thinking that ten practice days (the mandatory practices needed to play in the first game) was plenty to get a team ready for the first game. As a head coach, there is never enough time. There is a lot to cover before that first game, especially if you have a lot of new players learning your system. As head coach I always felt rushed, yet I tried not to rush, especially when it came to the fundamentals. Make plans for your season and observe your team to make sure your players are on pace with the team goals. Are your players understanding and implementing the things you’re working on? If not, slow down and adjust. You’ll feel like you’re behind, like you won’t have enough time to get to all the things you want to cover, and you’re probably right, but that is normal.

One thing that helps is to start with the basics. I always focused on fundamentals and our basic offenses and defenses and then added more as the season progressed. There are so many things to go over in practice (even with a well established team), fundamental skills, offenses, defenses, presses, press breakers, inbound plays, and conditioning to name a few, and as all coaches know, you rarely feel totally prepared. There are always skills to work on and adjustments to be made. This is coaching, it never ends, that’s why you have practices, and why you must always have a plan.

Always have a practice plan. Always!

Have an overall plan for your season and be prepared with a daily practice schedule. Your plans may change during practice, just as they will throughout the season, but you must start with a plan. Know what you need to work on, have your practice drills written down and schedule them out by the minute. It can be simple, written on paper or printed from the computer. I used a yellow pad or my PeaceLoveBasketball Practice Schedule seen below; just make sure you write your plans down.

I learned from Coach Wilkinson when I was an assistant coach at Bishop Blanchet (I even folded my schedule in half, longways, and tucked it into the waistband of my sweats like he did, so I could quickly refer to it during practice.) Coach Wilk always had a scheduled out practice plan, and practices ran like clock work. Time was not wasted and the girls moved easily from drill to drill and it started from his plan. On my practice paper I would jot notes about the day’s focus, set a start time for each drill and a plan for how many minutes we would run that drill (or be on break). To the right of my list of drills and water breaks, I would write notes about the drills, whom I was planning to group together, and thoughts about our opponents. I would end the practice with a quote and reminders for the next day, all written on my practice plan.

No matter what age kids you are coaching, you should always have a plan. Over the years I have watched some coaches run practices without a plan and it’s not pretty. Drills don’t build upon one another. Practices don’t lead into one anther. And often coaches run players because they’re not sure of what else to do. Conditioning is important, but it is better done by practicing with intensity and hustle, and with drills that include balls and running (although occasionally there are a few times of strictly running). When a coach knows what is next, and has a plan of where and who will be in the drill, the transition between drills happens fast. Without a plan, time is wasted.

A practice schedule helps to keep practice running smoothly, however, be ready to make changes, because they will come. Maybe you spend more time on one drill to make sure everyone is doing the drill right and then you have to reduce time on a drill later in practice, or cut a drill out completely (make sure to squeeze it into the next practice), maybe you realize your players need to get into better shape so you add a little extra running (preferably while dribbling a ball) or maybe they aren’t listening so you do the same to get their attention, maybe you realize from what is happening in practice that you need to work on a different drill, or maybe as practice evolves you decide to drop a drill altogether, maybe your players don’t need a drill, or maybe they need a break; a few minutes for fun and team building. Read your team. Be ready for change, and whatever you do, always come prepared.

 

PeaceLoveBasketball Friday: Which Defense is the Best?

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Defense is my favorite part of the game and man-to-man is my favorite defense. It’s my favorite to play, my favorite to teach during practice, and my favorite to use when I’m coaching a game. I also believe that every player should be taught man-to-man and play a lot of man-to-man, even though it’s not always the perfect solution in a game.

Players and teams should be taught man-to-man because it can be effective against opponents and because when players learn man-to-man, they learn the basic fundamentals of defense. I used the  “10 to Win” Westside Rules of Defense when I was coaching at West Seattle. These rules set a precedent for what was expected; for players to stay low and close out aggressive but under control, to keep their hands up and out and to read their opponents, to jump to the ball when a pass was made, to keep their man out of the middle, to read passing lanes and bump cutters, to block out, to play help defense, to talk to one another and to be ruthless when an opponent picked up their dribble, and to never get beat back.  

These defensive rules are essential when playing man-to-man defense, and they elevate zone play. There is nothing worse than a 2-3 zone where five players stand in the key, arms down by their sides. This happens a lot at lower levels, when kids are not taught the man-to-man fundamentals and explained how they translate into zones. In a good zone, players bend their knees, see the ball and any players in their area, close out, bump cutters, block out, talk, you get the point, they don’t just stand in their areas.

When I was the head coach at West Seattle High School, I asked my junior varsity coaches to use man-to-man for at least half of each JV game. It’s tough to do this if a team is young and maybe not as skilled, opposing players will go around the defense, players will struggle helping their teammates, and teams who honestly might have a chance to win if they played zone, may lose. Our JV lost some games because of this I’m sure, but I believe that by using man-to-man defense, at least a portion of the time, the girls learned the basic principles of defense and improved their individual game, the JV team, and in the end, the overall program.

Although I openly declare that I love man-to-man and that it’s my favorite D, it’s not always the right defense to get the job done. So it’s a coach’s job to scout an opponent, if possible, so they know what to expect, and then read the opponents offense during the game and adjust. Does a team score every time by driving to the hoop, but can’t hit 3-pointers? They might be the perfect candidate for a tight 2-3 zone. Maybe your opponent doesn’t have great ball handlers but you don’t have enough players to run a lot of full court press, you could try a half-court trapping zone. Put pressure on their ball handlers while conserving some energy. Maybe you want to slow the game but your opponent’s guards could easily get by an aggressive full-court press, you could extend your defense a little into a soft press to take some time off the clock. If your opponent starts beating your zone defense, change it up; try a burst of man-to-man pressure, and visa-versa. Or maybe your opponents leading scorer gets all of her points from the block. Try doubling her every time she touches the ball (this could be done in both man or zone).

I’m a proponent of change, but controlled change. Make changes with your defense to upset your opponent, but only use what your team is familiar with. I had an assistant coach who always wanted to add new offenses and defenses on the fly. I don’t agree with this philosophy. As a head coach, I was open to new things, if we had time to practice them. I wanted our players to feel confident in what they were doing. When I talk about using change, I mean use what you have in your arsenal to create change to upset your opponent. Throw your full court press at them, slow things down with a soft zone, or even mix it up on possessions. I often had my teams change defense on a made basket. I had one team who performed this flawlessly. If we were playing 1-2-2 zone, I might say “go back to man-to-man on makes”. This takes kids who know what they are doing, who have solid man-to-man skills, as well as a good understanding of all zones and presses that their team runs.

It’s always better to stick with the basics, but once your players understand man-to-man concepts it will be easier for them to pick up different zones and presses. When coaching a new team I start by teaching them man-to-man and a basic 2-3. Sometimes you don’t need all the fancy stuff. My West Seattle High School team, who were undefeated Metro League Champions and placed 6th in State, played a lot of man and 2-3 zone and they were amazing at it. They were like one on the court. But we also added a good 1-2-2 (I personally prefer it over a 1-3-1) that was essential from time to time. And when we pressed it was usually a full court 2-2-1 (sometimes back to man, sometimes back to zone) or a half court 1-3-1 (back to 1-2-2). And by playoffs we added a Box and 1 and a Triangle and 2.

I waited on the Box and Triangle for a couple of reasons. One, because our basic man and zone defensive fundamentals weren’t dialed in until near the end of the season, and two, we didn’t usually need them. But come playoff we almost always had a team that had one or two players that we needed to shut down. There is nothing better than frustrating those players with aggressive in your face defense, and these man/zone combination defenses allow that. In a Box and 1, one player is in tight man-to-man and the other players run a box-shaped zone (With Triangle and 2, it’s two in man-to-man and the rest in a triangle zone). These defenses take a lot of talking and teamwork and most important, a good understanding of the fundamentals.

I’m writing this blog is to let you know that there are a lot of defensive options out there for your teams, but what is most important as a coach, is to focus on man-to-man fundamentals. They will improve your man-to-man defense and improve the defensive skills of your players, which will transfer to your zones and in the end, strengthen your team.

 

 

PEACELOVEBASKETBALL: Life Rules

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A friend asked me to help coach a 6th grade boys basketball team this fall. A couple of years ago I stepped down as Varsity Head Coach of the West Seattle High School girl’s program and I wasn’t sure I wanted to coach again, but when I stepped onto the court and saw the boys hustling across the floor at tryouts, I knew it was the right decision. When I got home, I went straight to my office, pulled open my coaching file and started planning. I scanned the first three documents in my coaching notebook, Westside Big 5, West Seattle Practice Rules and “10 to Win” Westside Rules of Defense, two of the three have nothing to do with basketball skills, a reminder to me of what coaching is truly about, teaching life skills.

Whether your players are in grade school or college there’s more to teach than just the fundamentals. Don’t get me wrong, I have coached for 25 years, and I love the fundamentals, I’m a stickler for the fundamentals, but I try to build a team mentality and have some fun along the way. At the varsity level there is an emphasis on winning, but what made our 2015 West Seattle team strong in the end, what got them to go undefeated in league and find success at the State level, was a belief in one another. This team mentality and positive attitude was backed with pride and sportsmanship. And, if you asked the girls, I believe they would say they are grateful for their experience and their teammates.

I’ll only have these 6th grade boys for a short practice once a week, and I will focus on the fundamentals and try to have some fun. But I also hope to instill a positive work ethic, teach sportsmanship and promote togetherness and pride for one another. Maybe only God or some higher being can do all that, but if I can touch upon some of it over the next few weeks than I’ll feel satisfied, then I’ll have done my job.

*Feel free to download any of the documents above and implement what you like into your basketball program.

Coach Elliott with her daughter and West Seattle player Charli (2015)

PeaceLoveBasketball Friday: Give It a Rest

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All of my life I have been active and when I’m on the court, I go all out, but I also know how important it is to have my body working. I spent time in a wheel chair when I was 24 years old, I’ve been on crutches a couple of times, and I’ve sprained ankles, torn ligaments and fought tendonitis and when I’m hurt it’s a lot more difficult to do the things I want to do, so I do what I can to stay healthy, which sometimes means giving my body a break.

Recently my daughter went in for her second knee surgery in less than a year. The doctors had to stitch down the meniscus and she was given a three-month timeline for getting back on the court. After her first surgery many questioned her then two-month timeline. “My meniscus tear only took 3 weeks”, “I was walking the next day.” I suggested she work hard on rehab but even more important, listen to her body. It is more important for her knee to be healed for the long run.  

As athletes we must learn to really listen to our bodies. We are taught to push ourselves to the limit, to go beyond what we are capable of, that’s what good athlete’s do, but we also need to understand that our bodies are our temples, our vehicles for living the life we want to live.

Without a healthy body you can’t run the race, play the game, climb the mountain. So if your body needs it, give it a rest.

Would rest have made a difference for my daughter last year? No one knows for sure, she waited two months while doing rehab so that shouldn’t have been the problem, but I do know she will always be attuned to the needs of her body now. This is so important for young athletes in this era of non-stop year-round sports and for everyone as we grow old and live our lives. Our bodies, and minds, need time to rest and recover.

After playing college basketball, which included fall ball, the regular season, post-season and spring ball, I would come home for the summer and take time off. I didn’t touch a basketball for about 6 weeks. I worked, water-skied, swam, went on occasional runs and goofed around with my friends. Then a few weeks before school was going to start I ran more, lifted weights and started to shoot around (I didn’t know of any open gyms back then).

Push yourself, push your body, but also listen to your body and allow it the time it needs to recover. Stay healthy and if needed, make sure to give your body a rest.

 

PeaceLoveBasketball Friday: Developing Better Handles

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I wasn’t born with very good handles. I played small forward most of my life and had to run the point from time to time, so I worked on my ball handling, but I’ve never felt terribly comfortable bringing the ball up the court against tough one-on-one defense.

I did however get better throughout my career from practice, lots of practice. And I learned after my career was over, how much the body can learn and adjust if you push it. After being in an accident and shattering my right arm (my shooting arm and favorite hand to dribble with) I had to do most everything with my left hand. And you know what? My left hand got better at everything. Way better. My body retrained itself to use my left hand. Of course once I regained use of my right I lost some of the agility because I didn’t work to keep it, but it did show me how much my body is capable of.

Sonya Elliott getting out of hospital bed to work on PT – 1991

Work on your ball handling, and even better yet, do things around the house with your off-hand. If you’re right handed, brush your teeth with your left, brush your hair, eat your cereal, drink your milk. Even do your chores, if you have them (hopefully you have them), dust, vacuum, weed. If it’s important to you, even doing these small things on a regular basis, can help your game.

So give it a try, push yourself to use your off-hand and add some new ball handling drills to your regimen while you’re at it!

For ball handling drill check out my blog, Hope for Better Ball Handling…

PeaceLoveBasketball Friday: Hope for Better Ball Handling

PLB Friday: The Fun/Work-Work/Fun Factor

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One thing I say to my kids when they are headed out the door to a game is, “play hard and have fun!” It probably falls on numb ears after so many years of hearing it, but I mean it. I have no great coaching advice at that last-minute that will make a huge difference (they should have been paying attention and working hard in practice) and I’m not going to go ad nauseam about what they should do because that too will bore them and be lost to them, but what I can do is reach out and suggest they do two things that can make a difference in their performance. Make their best effort and find joy in the game.

What could be better for them (and their team)?

But this is not an easy task. Working hard in itself is not super fun. And often you’ll work hard and have a bad practice or a bad game and think, “What the hell am I doing out here? Why am I playing basketball?” But it’s the hard work that allows you to be the very best you can be, and ultimately gives you the ability to do what you want to do on the court, which translates to more fun.

To this day there are times I need to remind myself of why I play the game. Even when I was in college I would be burned out at the end of every season. So as you can imagine there were times during the season that I was tired of giving my best effort. Giving your all during games and practices may seem like a given, but how often does it really happen? Many kids today play one sport year-round, which means tons of practices and league games, so it’s easy for them to become lackadaisical. With so much time on the court they may be honing their skills, yet at the same time they may be losing their love of the game, that spark that pushes them to work hard.

So if you find yourself bored and dying for a break, remind yourself of why you play. What is it that you love about the game? Is it the times you dominate the boards? The times you light up the court with your jump shot or dunk over someone’s head? Is it that feeling you get when your team jells on the court (or even off the court)? This kind of fun is worth working for.

Each time you head out to play remind yourself to work hard, and think about what fuels you to play the game. What makes basketball fun for you? Is it hearing the ball swoosh through the net or maybe it when you out rebound someone twice your size? Whatever it is, use it to fuel you to play your best, and go out there and have some fun!

PeaceLoveBasketball Friday: Because You Can

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I drained my first three ten foot jumpers in my first game back on the court last week. Sometimes I have beginner’s luck when I’ve been away from the game for a while, but it had been months since I last played, so I was anxious, not to mention a bit out of shape. I ended the game (a last second comeback win) with ten points, a sore left arch, a tender Achilles tendon, an achy back and a smile.

I went to bed nervous that when I woke up my shoulder might be frozen again, back to what had become an ongoing cycle of pain over the last nine months. Night being the worst with both a bad shoulder and bad wrist, rolling over had been nearly impossible and sleep was always in question. But when I woke the next morning, my shoulder worked and even though I could barely walk when I stepped out of bed, I was still smiling.

I’m not sure what I’ll do when I can’t play this game anymore, probably shoot around and do dribbling drills like I do every time I’m hurt, but somehow that is never the same. I like it, but there is something about running the full court with a bunch of players that makes playing (game or scrimmage) a huge step up from skill work.

Why am I telling you this besides the fact that playing again makes basketball on the forefront of my mind? I’m telling you this because I’m urging you to enjoy the game. When you have bad game, be thankful that you are playing at all and try to reminder that you will have good days and bad days on the court, and in life for that matter.

My husband’s new saying, as we have both hit fifty, has become, “because I can.” Why are you getting up at 5:30am to work out?”… “Because I can.” “Why are you riding the 120 mile, elevation Death Ride?”…“Because I can.”

No matter your age, use this thought process to get you out doing the things you love more and more everyday, or have it help push you to work harder on those things that may not always be fun, aka practice, because in the end you will be better and stronger, and of course, you should do it, because you can.

What would you like to do more of or add to your life because you can? Now’s the time, just go out and do it!

 

PeaceLoveBasketball Friday: Hope for Better Ball Handling

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Some people just have a natural feel for the ball but even if you start out with great ball handling skills there is always room for improvement. And if you are a player like me, a player who has never been terribly comfortable handling the ball, there is still hope. It’s called hard work.

If you put in the time, you will improve. I spent most of my career putting extra time on the court, and though to this day I’m still not very graceful with the ball, I can get the job done. When I was in college, I could help get the ball up the court against a press if I had to, and I actually loved running a fast break. And that’s only because I worked at it.

I’m still not crazy about bringing the ball up the court. I spent my life as a small forward, but I do know that on the court, as in life sometimes, you need to do things that you are not thrilled about and if that’s dribbling the ball, then you need to spend more time with a ball in your hands. There is always something you can do to become a better player, or to get better at whatever it is you strive to do.

Find links to ball handling skill work below and remember you can take a basketball almost anywhere. Get an outdoor ball and dribble as you walk to school, dribble on the sidewalk in front of your house, dribble in your driveway. You don’t need a hoop just a ball and the desire to improve your game.

50 Basketball Dribbling Drills

Tulsa Women’s Basketball Individual Drills

5 Minute MVP Ball Handling 

Premier Hoops | 10 Best Ball-Handling Drills for Basketball (youth)

 

 

 

PeaceLoveBasketball Friday: Dancing at the Tournament

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It’s tournament time! Both the boy’s and girl’s team at West Seattle, where I used to coach, are headed that way. I can’t wait to cheer them on. When I was coaching, playoffs, League, Districts and the State Tournament meant a different kind of fun, a hunker in and take a closer look at our team type of fun. What makes us successful? How do we build on that and make our base stronger? Of course, I studied our opponents but in the end I focused on our team, our fundamentals and our strengths. As my father-in-law (Hall of Fame Coach) used to say when it was time for State, “Dance with the girl who brung ya’.” (Read more)

Go West Seattle Wildcats!

 

 

PeaceLoveBasketball Friday: Back Off

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Back off. This is an important lesson that I learned during a coaches clinic years ago.

As a season progresses and a team is nearing playoffs, it’s time to back off. Really? Yes, really, but not with the intensity during practice, with time on the court. Brains and bodies are tired. If players were prepared properly, pushed to their limits and worked hard all season, then cutting practice time down will not hurt them but in fact will help them. The season is long, and often near the end of the season high school players are also dealing with finals, they need time to study and to rest their bodies. If you’re a coach, reduce practice time as you near the playoffs, but make sure to keep the time on the court focused and intense, optimizing your time by working at game speed. And don’t forget to throw in some fun to keep your players engaged, every player loves ending practice with a game of knock out or trying to hit half-court shots. If you’re a player, work hard at practice (no matter the length) and get lots of sleep. 

On the court, and in life, we all have times when we need to back off and give ourselves a break so that we can be our best selves. Think about your life. Is there a place in your life where you could back off?

PeaceLoveBasketball Friday: Light Up the Court with More Shots

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dsc_0987_2I haven’t been able to play basketball since July and last week when I was at the YMCA doing rehab on my shoulder I found myself wandering onto the basketball court. I dribbled the ball around, allowing my shoulder to soften and relax with the controlled motion. Then with my good arm I shot one-handed for a bit. I’m sure it looked a bit odd, as I have to leave my left arm down by my side, but it sure was fun. And then, when I was done shooting around I went to the other end of the court to see if the young kid, who’d been shooting since I got there, wanted a rebounder. I couldn’t help myself.

I stepped under the hoop and asked as I snagged incoming balls out of the net and off the backboard and passed them back to him. He didn’t answer but his face lit up. So for the next half an hour I felt like myself again. I am at home on the court. I didn’t say much, other than suggesting to this twelve-year-old boy that he catch the ball like he would in a game, on the move, and then I passed the ball to him as he work around the basket at different distances. He had a nice shot and a relaxed follow-through, so I simply let him shoot.

If you are an athlete working on your shot, find a friend or a coach, partner up and get some extra shots in at game speed. Make up shooting games with one another, play some one-on-one, make it fun and keep your body moving. If you’re a mom or dad who knows nothing about the game, don’t be afraid to get out there with your kids and rebound or pass the ball. The key is to have fun so your son or daughter can get more shots up. Too much advice can shut them down even if you’re knowlegdable about the game. Less is more, especially at first. And some teenagers may want nothing to do with you (my sixteen-year-old son doesn’t think I know anything about the game), but if you can, get out there and shoot around with them too.

When I left the gym the other day, I wished the boy good luck during his basketball season and told him what a nice shot he had. His face lit up again and he asked me if I knew any of the basketball players at West Seattle High School (I was wearing a West Seattle Basketball shirt.) “Yes,” I said, “I know a few, I used to coach there.” His eyes grew wide and then he told me all about his favorite West Seattle player. Now I was smiling.

What a great day, a young player had fun getting some extra shots up and I got to be on the court, doing what I love.

 

PeaceLoveBasketball Friday: AWESOME SPORTS PROJECT writing contest

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Do you have a story to share about your life on the court? on the field? on a diamond? or a story about what sports have meant to you as a woman? Awesome Sports Project has published two of my articles, Court Dreams: A Life Worth Living and Can I Play? Dreaming in the Wave of Title IV , that share stories about how athletics have changed my life and the lives of other women thanks to Title IV.  Awesome Sports Project  is an online literary journal committed to inspiring girl’s and women’s voices in sports.

This month Awesome Sports Project launched the Awesome Sports Writing Contest, offering cash awards to youth (20 & under) and adults writing about girls’ and women’s sports. Deadline is January 15, 2017. Male and female writers of all ages (and level of writing experience) are welcome. The submission must be nonfiction and about girls’ and women’s sports.

I encourage you to find your voice and share your story! 

 

PeaceLoveBasketball Friday: Preparation is the Key to Success

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prepareIt’s that time of the year. Yes, it’s fall, but more important, it’s almost basketball season. And if you are an athlete, this means it’s time to get ready to get on the court. To get in basketball shape.

Nothing but playing basketball and doing basketball drills truly gets you in shape for running the court, but there are a lot of things that can help. If you are in a fall sport like soccer, you may still be in running shape but you might want to look at finding a couple of nights a week to shoot the ball, lift weights or play at open gyms. If you are in a fall sport, like golf, you might need to do a bit more so you can start the season in good condition.

I’m a proponent of young athletes playing different sports (read more in my blog Variety is the Spice of Life), but as the next season nears, it’s important to prepare yourself, and give yourself the best opportunity for success. It’s not alway easy if one season runs into the next (for example when you make playoffs and your season extends a couple of weeks), and of course players have to keep up with school work, but it’s important to take a moment to look at your schedule, think about what is important to you, and if possible take some time to get prepared for your upcoming season.

Make this preparation time fun and you will be more inclined to find the time to do it. Get together with teammates or friends and run hills, meet in the weight room, play some 3 on 3 or hit open gyms. When I was coaching, I opened the gym several mornings and afternoons during the week. During my first year very few players participated in preseason activities, but year by year the mindset of the players changed and then the fall before what was to be my last year at West Seattle High School, a couple of the players asked our conditioning coach to get them ready for the season and a majority of the girls from our program, Varsity, JV, as well as some freshman girls, took part in preseason workouts. By our first practice a majority of the team was in great shape.

As Alexander Graham Bell once said, “Before anything else, preparation is the key to success.” I have found this to be true in many areas of my life, and that year our Varsity went undefeated in the Metro League and placed 6th in the State Tournament.

Go out and prepare yourself for the best season yet!

 

photo by Paul Mosely
photo by Paul Mosely

PeaceLoveBasketball Friday: Bring Your Team Together with Fun

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I felt a little guilty last week. I went away and took some time for myself. I had a good excuse, I turned 50, and though I shouldn’t need an excuse to take some “me” time (everyone needs to “refill their cup” from time to time), my birthday did make it easier to spoil myself.

So I went to Utah. I hiked five to seven miles every morning in Snow Canyon Park, practiced yoga, did rehab on my shoulder and wrist, read, wrote and relaxed. One day I even tried water aerobics (good for my shoulder), and the crazy thing was that by the end of the class, though I was smiling, I felt a deep sadness. You might be thinking, “well you did just turn 50,” but that wasn’t it. The water aerobics class made me miss coaching.

Kind of an odd connection, but at the end of the workout, when we paired up with another person in the class for a final activity, I was transported back to the gym, to my years of coaching, when I would pair up girls for team building activities. Poolside, while the old farts (me included), waded around the pool to find partners, I thought of my former players. In the aerobics class we used foam noodles and did silly exercises, and though my cranky old brain was thinking, “this is stupid, I don’t want to do this,” my coaching brain was thinking, “this would be a great team builder for my girls.” And that’s when I got sad, because they’re not my girls anymore. Still, I imagined the players hopping in the pool, grabbing teammates and wrestling around in the water. I could imagine their faces lighting up, just as surprisingly enough, the faces of the adults did (even if hesitantly at first).

So as I bobbed around the pool pulling my partner, I watched the mostly wrinkled smiling faces around me, and was reminded of the importance of coming together, of finding the fun in life. And most of all I was reminded of how important it is to build trust and friendships to bring a team together and to help them to play their best.

So to build a strong team and to be your best you, on the court and in life, don’t be afraid to reach out to others, to have fun and don’t forget to smile! Read more at  TEAM BUILDING and “I Like You” TEAM BUILDING

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PeaceLoveBasketball Friday: Comebacks and Life

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IMG_4457 - Version 2It sucks being hurt. It’s been a while since I’ve had an injury that kept me off the court for more than a month, one that I can’t tape up and fight through, but this last month has been different. I pulled the muscles of my rotator cuff, and I have been nursing a sprained wrist, so I can’t play basketball and I hate it. I really shouldn’t complain because my daughter is rehabbing a torn lateral meniscus in her knee and she is a college athlete who was looking forward to her sophomore season, I am just an old mom who likes to play the game. Still for both of us, it has been difficult to be injured.

I have recovered from worse injuries in my life. A shattered right arm which included a torn rotator cuff for one and a broken leg, yet every time I battle with an injury, it’s difficult to stay mentally strong. Each injury I forget that in the beginning, and at points along the way, it feels as if I’m never going make it, that I’m never going to get better. And so each recovery I struggle for a bit, I go through times when I want to crawl into bed and pout. But then I remind myself that I will get better and to stay positive, and eventually (not soon enough of course) I start to see improvement.

In the end it’s about finding strength within and finding support from those around you, because recovering from an injury, or any hardship, can be a battle, not only for your body but also for your mind. My daughter got some bad news this week, her knee is not ready. She put in two months of rehab and it swelled up when she ran on it. There is hope that it may be healed for basketball season, but there is also a chance that she may need surgery. This news made it more difficult for me to drop her off at college to start her sophomore year, knowing she was going to have to go through preseason watching from the sidelines and doing rehab. But she moved on. She reached out for support from her coach and team trainer, scheduled physical therapy and got to work on her comeback.

This is life. There will be ups and downs, rights and wrongs and unknowns. What is important is to stay strong, find support and believe that no matter the circumstances, you must keep moving forward, because life is worth living before, during and after your comeback.

Stay strong and always believe in you!

 

PeaceLoveBasketball Friday: Old Man Strong

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There is something to be said for experience. When I play basketball these days, physically I can’t keep up with the girls who are half my age, but there are times I still feel strong. Not in the way that I pull down rebounds or run the court, but in my knowledge of the game, my understanding of what makes a winning team. When my son can’t get the upper hand wrestling against my husband, he complains, “It’s not fair, you’re ‘Old Man Strong.’”

Old Man Strong = Experience.

My husband is a three-time state wrestling champion and a former college athlete. He has muscle memory and more important a history and knowledge of how to use his body. A different but very real strength that is often more powerful than the ability to lift more weight.

Why am I telling you all of this? For you coaches it’s a reminder of how important your knowledge is in building the strength of your players and your team. Do they understand how to use their body to block out and get a rebound so they have the upper hand against a bigger, stronger opponent? Do your players understand how to keep their bodies low and ready to move when they are on defense so they can beat a faster player to their spot? Have you taught them to use ball fakes so they can attack the basket and leave their defender behind? Your knowledge of the game will make them stronger.

If you’re a player, listen. Listen to your coaches. Be open to learn as much as possible about the game. Sometimes you can even learn from old ladies like myself, who shuffle up and down the court, but who know how to run an old-fashioned fast break, who aren’t afraid to give up the three pointer and wait for the trailer to come through the middle for an easy layin.

And for the non-ballers, remember whether you’re young or old, be open to learning. In the end more knowledge, whether it’s about how to do your job, enjoy your hobby, or better your life, will make you stronger and allow you to follow your dreams.

 

PeaceLoveBasketball Friday: Because You Can

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blogmarchInjuries suck. I’ve been babying a bad wrist and knee all summer. These injuries make everything hard to do, the chores and the fun stuff. My daughter has been rehabilitating a knee injury. This morning when we were working out together she said, “I can’t stand doing the elliptical machine, not playing basketball is killing me.” Boy, do I know what she means, there is nothing like playing a game of basketball or doing something that you love to get your workout in. And unfortunately, most people don’t truly understand this until the time comes when they can no longer play.

My husband hasn’t been able to play much basketball for quite some time because he has bad knees, but recently he hurt his back and he couldn’t do anything at all for about three months. Since his recovery, he has been working out like a madman. When someone asks him why, he replies, “Because I can.” He wakes up at 5:30am to go to the gym to lift, condition and play racquetball, and he has been doing something he once said he would NEVER do, riding hundreds of miles on his bike. This weekend he is even participating in the STP (Seattle to Portland) bike race. He is the picture health.

He is in the shape that I strive to be in. So, I’ve decided to adopt the “Because I Can” attitude. Too often I adopt the “If I workout I’ll have to take another shower” attitude or “I should do the bills” attitude or “I need to (fill in any excuse here)” attitude, but something tells me the “Because I Can” attitude would better serve me.

It was so nice to have my daughter ask me to workout today and it’s good to have dogs that need walking to keep me moving, but when I’m injured and can’t play basketball, more often than not I need a boost to keep me exercising. But from now on I’m just going to do it, no excuses. I’m going to have more fun, write more, and find the time to workout…because I can.

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