Perfect Expectations
It’s tough being an athlete. And I’m not talking about for professionals; I’m talking about for kids. The expectations today’s society puts on young athletes are crazy. I’ve listened to parents and coaches berate kids for mistakes that are just that…mistakes. No one is perfect. My husband rolls his eyes when I remind him and my kids, “Even the pro’s make mistakes.”
As a coach and a parent I am no Saint. I get frustrated when my kids don’t do the things I know they can do. But I try my best to look at the big picture.
Two weeks ago I played out of my head and scored twenty points in my basketball game. Last week I stunk. I couldn’t hit a shot, threw the ball away and made a lot of stupid mistakes. I wanted to throw my hands up and cry but I’ve learned from my years on the court to dig deep and keep on going. It’s hard for an experienced athlete to make it through the tough games and to remember what all good athletes eventually learn: No one is perfect, just…NEVER GIVE UP.
Young athletes need encouragement and support. Expect them to push themselves and work hard. Don’t expect them to be perfect.
Breathe
Sometimes I have to stop for a moment and breathe. I mean really breathe. Allow the tension in my body to melt away. Recently I have had a lot of these times.
Fortunately, every Thursday I write with my friend Jenny. We hold one another accountable to our writing goals and use the time to put words on paper. Instead of talking about our week, we write a letter to one another as our writing warm up. Yesterday, in my letter I thanked her for our friendship and then dove into my frenzied week. Scribbling at a pace that was as fast as my life, up until that very moment. Field trips, games, photo shoots, business meetings, open gyms and of course the never ending, and dreaded, cleaning. Sentence by sentence, I detailed the chaos and at the end of each paragraph I wrote BREATHE. An explanation to Jenny, and a reminder to myself, of what I should be doing. I wrote. Took a breath. Wrote. Took a breath. And with each breath felt more calm and thought to myself, “…this should be a blog.”
We read our letters out loud to one another. Jenny went first. I smiled as she shared her letter that was written to me. She paused and I watched her shoulders rise and fall. “Breathe,” she read aloud. Our minds were in tune. (this was not the first time.) Jenny had started a blog series BREATH.
There is much to be said about the benefit of a good deep breath. Take a moment now, fill your lungs, hold the air inside your body […]
Relishing the Moment
I give my daughter a bad time about being too rough on the basketball court, but in reality I love her feistiness. Last week when I asked if she wanted to come to open gym with me, she looked up from her book and yawned. She was snuggled into bed, our dog sassy draped across her.
“Not tonight mom.”
“Alright.” I said.
I grabbed my high-tops and was opening the door when I heard, “Hey mom, wait!”
My assistant coach and her daughter came to open gym as well, and while my assistant and I lowered the hoops and chatted, the girls shot around. Then by two’s, seniors who would no longer be playing for our high school, arrived to play. I was glad to see them, glad that something about the game and the friendships that they’ve built bring them back to this court even though they are finished with their high school careers.
Once enough players arrived, we played full-court basketball and little miss “I want to read my book” was flying up and down the court, hustling for loose balls and crashing the boards. I couldn’t help but smile. It was heaven for me. Twenty years ago, when I nearly lost my life in a car accident, I never would have dreamed I would be in this place. Playing basketball with my daughter. Whatever her future in the game matters not, it’s this moment we share together.
What are some of the moments in your life that make life worth living?
Balancing Chaos
Last night I received the first round of edits from my editor in LA. My book BACK ON THE COURT, is to be published this fall by Tigress Pubishing and the process is underway. Am I scared? Hell yes! Excited and scared. This book writing thing has been a long process, with life mixed in. But isn’t that what life is all about? Figuring out how to blend it all. How to sit down and read 250 pages of edit work when you’ve got in-laws in town, a birthday to prepare for, tax information to search for (had to file for and extension this year), a team fundraiser to organize, kids baseball & softball games to attend and well, basically just…a life to live.
Meet Sonya
Meet Sonya
Sonya Elliott’s memoir, Back on the Court: A Young Woman’s Triumphant Return to Life, Love & Basketball, is her story of finding hope in the wake of tragedy after she and her fiancé were hit by a train. She blogs about writing, basketball, and life and is currently working on a Young Adult Novel and a Non-Fiction Coaching book. Stories of her career as a fashion model are woven through her memoir, as both the Soloflex and Easy Spirit Shoes commercials were filmed during that time period, and this unique and intriguing business continues to be a part of her life.
Sonya played basketball at Eastern Washington University and was a starter for the Big Sky Champion team that went to the 1987 NCAA tournament. She coached for almost 25 years and was voted Seattle Times Coach of the Year, Seattle Officials Women’s Basketball Association Coach of the Year, and twice voted Metro League Coach of the Year. She loves the game of basketball and is thankful, not only for her husband and kids but for her ability to continue to get back on the court.
Blog
Monday’s Pen to Paper: Plan
I have been falling behind on my writing, but now I have a plan. My friend, and blogger, Jenny (find her Heartwriter blog here), Recently made a plan for herself. She gets up every weekday morning, early, very early, and writes. (I only wake up that early to play basketball.)
But I have set a plan for my writing, to get my Young Adult novel finished, and for me it is to set aside big chunks of time (take a full day, a long weekend) and then take advantage of short spurts of time (sitting in the car waiting for my son’s basketball game to start, that sort of thing).
That is how I wrote my first book.
Set a plan. stick to it. Enjoy the results.
WRITING PROMPT: Where can I find time to write, or do what I love?
PeaceLoveBasketball Friday: Open
I’m a little “old school” in the way I coach. Not a yell and swear kind of “old school”, but I prefer certain offenses and certain defenses that I am familiar with. But like with anything, I also understand there is always room to learn and grow.
When I decided to write a book, I took classes, read, wrote, went to workshops, and learned about the craft (and still continue to learn) and implemented what I learned into my writing style. As a coach I do the same. Coaches clinics, newsletters, books, fellow coaches, YouTube. There are a lot of places to gather information.
I will always have preferences when it comes to the game, but there is nothing I like more than finding some new tidbit that may help our team.
Be open to growth…take a class, read a book, or simply Google something you want to learn more about, and enjoy.
Monday’s Pen to Paper: The Perfect Pen
I’m not terribly picky about my writing pen. I’ll use any pen, or a pencil for that matter, but there are some I prefer.
My daughter likes the Pilot G2 oo7-FINE – BLACK. She’s a bit cranky without it. I bought her a bunch of them, I thought it was the one I liked too, but yesterday I started writing with it and realized that it’s not. Not at all. I would use it, yes, but it’s definitely not my number one choice.
To start with, I like blue ink. (I have no idea why.) But the thing that I like best in a pen, is if it is NOT fine, it’s bold. Which to me moves softly across the page. I like my pencils a little dull too, not all sharp and pointy.
So I set the Pilot on the counter and rummaged […]
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