PEN TO PAPER: Writing To Save My Life
Several years ago I wrote an article about how writing literally saved my life after my fiancé was killed and I felt as if life wasn’t worth living. I never published the piece, but I hand it out when I speak to grief support groups, hoping that my experience with recovery will inspire others who are struggling. And now, I hope that by sharing it here, it will find it’s way to those in need…
“Writing to Save My Life”
Sonya G. Elliott
I wouldn’t have thought it could happen. Getting hit by a train and losing my fiancé just days before our wedding for one, but actually recovering from such a thing seems altogether unbelievable, even a miracle. And, of course, the fact that I survived was a miracle to my family and friends, but for me it was a death sentence that left me alone and struggling to go on with life. Had it not been for my journal, my writing, I may never have found my way.
I had played basketball for the Eastern Washington University Screamin’ Eagles from 1984 to 1988, then after graduating I moved to Seattle where I began working as a fashion model. Not the typical career choice for an athlete and honor student, but I had been a walking contradiction since I was a child, when I sat alone in the tall grass picking clovers and then quietly pushed myself to a stand and began walking for the first time. In high school I was the jock that sang solos in choir and did my homework. (I thought of myself as a well-rounded person, my classmates called me a nerd.) When I met Mark, I was still living a life of contradiction. I’d spend afternoons sashaying […]
LIFE INSPIRED FITNESS: Better Together
This summer my kids have helped to inspire me and keep me active. In June and July it was my daughter, together we hiked, went to our local community center and lifted weights and did track workouts. This month my son and I decided to work on our abs. He suggested that we would have to pay the other person a dollar if we didn’t do an ab/core workout each day. I was in.
We did one track/ab workout and did a couple of core workouts at home. Then yesterday he suggested that we mix it up with running, push ups and yoga. I agreed. I can use all of it, how could I go wrong? I get in a workout, and get to spend time with my son. It’s a win/win.
Is there someone who you can workout with? Put together a plan to help one another stay fit, and have fun while doing it.
PEACELOVEBASKETBALL: The Trust Factor
My daughter and I helped at Ballard High School’s basketball camp this summer. We talked to the campers about what it means to be a good teammate. When I posed the question to the girls, they came up with lots of great ideas: encourage your teammates, cheer for your teammates, high-five your teammates. I agreed, all great ideas. Together we came up with a bunch more, and in the end I emphasized one I feel is extra important, thanking your teammates.
When I was coaching at West Seattle I encouraged our players to say thank you out loud or simply by pointing across the court to their teammate and making eye contact with them. Whatever it took to thank their teammate for a good pass, an important block out, for their help on defense, or for anything deserving of a thank you. Showing gratitude for teammates on the court helps build a strong team, as it’s a step toward developing respect and trust between players.
TRUST
Building trust is not easy. We are all so different and come from different backgrounds. I used to tell my players that they didn’t have to be best friends, but I hoped that they would learn to respect and trust one another, and I believe that over time it was the trust factor, that made a difference in the way the girls played. My last season as head coach, we were undefeated in league, and then, without our point guard (who went down with an ACL injury in our last league game), made it through metro, district and regional playoffs and placed 5thin State. Hard work, and belief in one another and the concept of team, gave us the opportunity, and it started by learning to trust one another.
We spent a lot of time getting to know […]
LIFE INSPIRED FITNESS: Beach Bum
I live near a beach and when the kids were young almost every weekend we would walk to the beach. It was a good haul. A couple miles, but a couple miles of fun. Walking, talking and through most of the kids lifetimes, catching. We usually brought a football and once we hit the beach my husband would toss the ball to the kids and they would run and dive and catch the ball and then run it back to him like a golden retriever and then it would all start again. We loved walking to the beach.
Recently, the sun was out and my husband and I were having coffee on the front patio and I looked at him and I said, “walk/ride to the beach?” it was just the two of us, and our dog Bruno, but we did it, I walked with Bruno (I prefer to walk) and he rode along side of me (he has bad knees and prefers to ride), and together, our lives inspired our workout, first to the beach and then later we met at Lincoln park and run/rode and did stairs. We did what our bodies prefer and worked them together so that we could enjoy one another.
What are some ways that your fitness is inspired by your family or your spouse, or your friends? What are activities that you enjoy doing together?
Follow me on Instagram for ideas on how your life can inspire your fitness @lifeinspiredfitness
Meet Sonya
Meet Sonya
Sonya Elliott’s memoir, Back on the Court: A Young Woman’s Triumphant Return to Life, Love & Basketball, is her story of finding hope in the wake of tragedy after she and her fiancé were hit by a train. She blogs about writing, basketball, and life and is currently working on a Young Adult Novel and a Non-Fiction Coaching book. Stories of her career as a fashion model are woven through her memoir, as both the Soloflex and Easy Spirit Shoes commercials were filmed during that time period, and this unique and intriguing business continues to be a part of her life.
Sonya played basketball at Eastern Washington University and was a starter for the Big Sky Champion team that went to the 1987 NCAA tournament. She coached for almost 25 years and was voted Seattle Times Coach of the Year, Seattle Officials Women’s Basketball Association Coach of the Year, and twice voted Metro League Coach of the Year. She loves the game of basketball and is thankful, not only for her husband and kids but for her ability to continue to get back on the court.
Blog
PEN TO PAPER: Be Present, Connect & Listen
Last Thursday when my friend Jenny and I did our freewrite, we chose three words from her Anchored Card Deck. The words were Presence, Connect and Listen. My fingers flew across the keys, what powerful words to focus on during the holidays, and especially during a pandemic.
It can be difficult to be present. With bills and work, and these days the constant worry about everyone’s health, stress levels are high. And my to-do list seems to get longer everyday. But, this is also when I use my past, my history with loss, to remind myself to slow down, to be present. If you’ve lost people you love, you know what I’m talking about.
Sometimes I have to have a little conversation with myself. Sonya, who cares if the house is a messy, hang out with your son, he will be back at college soon. Enjoy walks with your […]
PEN TO PAPER: Food For Thought
I love food. It doesn’t have to be fancy, just good. Still, as I write this blog I realize that I’m known to take pictures of my food. Do I just want to remember how good it was? Do I want a picture to remind me of that time and the experience? I’m not sure, but I do know that food is a huge part our lives and that’s why it can be a great starting point for writing.
Our meals not only give us nutrients but they become a bigger part of our lives in different ways. For some people, one of the best parts of a meal is putting it all together. I enjoy cooking, but I certainly don’t love it. My friend Kathy, on the other hand, loves to cook and bake (Instagram @lick.the.plate). She baked the beautiful Bolo Polana cake in the photo above (Recipe […]
PEACELOVEBASKETBALL: Make The Little Things Count
The number one thing to do is to stay in shape. You can do basic home exercise: sit-ups, push-ups, burpies, etc. on your own, or there are a lot of workout routines online to help you stay motivated. If you’re lucky, you may have a basement or room where you can dribble a ball and work on ball handling skills. (My kids dribbled balls and played catch in our house, but that was never allowed in my childhood home, so this may not be an option for you.) But, even if you can’t dribble in the house, there are a few things that you can do to help your ball handling.
One is to use your non-dominant hand to do things around the house. If you’re right handed use your left hand, and visa versa. Do this when you brush your teeth, drink your water, open a door. Everything that you […]
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